{Blog} Part 3-How to get your life back after a relationship with a Narcissist

Your Wise Exit Strategy :
The most important act you must first do, is create a safe exit strategy that works for you and you ONLY... and any other family members (children) who may be an innocent bystander. This can be achieved with some common sense and a great support system. And also by legal means if need be.
Here's a few ways to begin to plan your safe exit-
Do your own research to fit your unique situation so you feel safe.

This blog offers general suggestions that proved resourceful for me.

1) Knowledge is Power, become educated about who and what you are living with. Read, study, ask questions and dig deep.You'll want to make sure you have plenty of information before you act, so be patient enough, yet the key is not to take too long to have your plan in place, a general measurement for you to execute your plans would be to act well before all his masks completely come off. The sooner the better.

2) Watch for Patterns with the NPD. Notice what time they leave or go to work and when they get home-You've probably already begun to see where they are not thorough in many areas.
3) Begin testing time and windows of opportunity such as patterns with the NPD. For instance you'll begin to see a pattern with the window of time they consistently "stay away from the house" for a certain period of time, or when you come home from work, then you can safely measure and test it.
4) Have a "Plan B" before things begin spiraling out of control (have a safe place to go in the mean time). A good friend or family member's house that you can show up at a moments notice.

5) Be unpredictable. You'll want to start being as unpredictable as possible because Narcissist love to set traps with predictability.This is a very good time to spend more time with your support system (if you have one). You will start doing more things with your friends and family, and doing less with the narcissist, you can also communicate to your support system the importance to have an adult with you if you're not feeling safe. If you lack a support system, get help from other sources such as shelters, and or authorities. You can also film or record the NPD on your phone with or without their knowledge.

National and Domestic hotlines and websites here
IMPORTANT:
If its gotten really bad and you can't just walk away or you're not feeling safe enough to stay at your house alone and you meet up with the "bully" side of the narcissist don't stay! OR Call 911 if you're in danger. Have a safe place to go until you feel safe, or until your plan is ready.
6) Start fact finding and plan how you'll make the move as soon/fast as possible. Your moving package is important: Where you're going to stay, how much it will cost to move. etc. Again this depends on your income and support system, family and friends.
7) Meditate, Breathe, take salt baths, listen to music that soothes your soul (wear your headphones more) tune the negative out, watch what you eat, stay in tune and get outside to ground yourself. The aim here is to take very good care of yourself. So your'e shifting your attention to yourself not the NPD. You must think ONLY of self care right now and being present for you and you only.
8) Be aware of the food you may be given by the narcissist, watch your cell phone, keep your tooth brush in a place where they're not aware of, and watch out for your pets and what they are being fed.
9) Honor what you want, when you want it, such as steering clear of the narcissist as they come and go, not to "bow down" to them but to steer away from them is ultimate, so to keep conversation at a minimum. Avoid them as much as comfortably possible.
10) Test, test and retest the times...When the time is right for you, Take Action!
Only YOU will know when the time is right and feels safe enough to make your move.
As promised, here's some resources listed below. Ive included links for you to check out for yourself, just click on them.

The good news is, once your plan is in action you will continue to heal much quicker. Your life will be changed for the better each day. Know that many people have reclaimed their lives after living with others who have NPD. You can too. Remember, you're beautiful and made of light and love and deserve the very best in life. Here's those links!

Resources and Recommendations:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs. Normal Narcissism
10 Steps to Getting Your Life Back After Narcissistic Abuse
A book to help you -who lived with NPD. Its called Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child
Can people with NPD be cured or is there a treatment?
5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You
Narcissists Hate Seeing You Happy
NARCISSISTS AND (SELF-)THERAPY

Narcissism Decoded with Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., MFT

Stay tuned for more on this blog for plenty of positive and actionable tools and insights you can use.

Also be sure to report back and share your own experiences with this kind of energy vampire!

And please, if you found this information useful, then spread the love and use the link below to share this post with people you know.

Until then, Love and Light!

Lorie Paige

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